How Do You Feel About YOU??

Do you?  Believe in yourself?   Do you value yourself?  Do you love yourself?  Are these self-seeking or selfish questions?  I think NOT!

Remember that disease we have?  The spiritual malady and the "thinking" that is destructive, non-productive, self-defeating, sabotaging ... you may call it the alcoholic mind (it is also our critical voice)?  Well, that voice inside is developed over years and years.  It becomes anchored because we play it over and over and over and then some!  Our DIS-EASE centers in our mind in not only the medical/physical sense but the spiritual as well .... Everything starts in our mind, in our thinking - that's been proven.  We prove that to ourselves everyday.

So what is going on up there?  Are we constantly criticizing our self, degrading or belittling our self?  Are we constantly comparing our self with others - so we never measure up?  Are we afraid of trying because we are afraid of failing?  Hmmm.   Well, I don't know about you but, I learned to do this, to perpetuate this thinking very covertly going way back to my early childhood.  And I got damn good at it!  Trouble is .... that it was my secret ~~  Remember that saying, "we are only as sick as our secrets?"
Yea, well, as you can imagine - I was pretty sick.  But not so much today!  YAY for that, right?  Well, yes - but I have done a whole lot of work and I still have to be diligent about the things I think, the things I say because they contribute to how I feel and how I treat myself - oh, and eventually, definitely how I treat you.

So I am really committed to certain "things" --  prayer and meditation, processes, inspiring tools to help me remember that I have a choice today!  I can choose to believe that garbage or NOT.  Today, I am convinced that I am NOT all of those things I used to believe about myself (internally) - not what I showed the world, because I actually am some of those things also.  Today, I know that I AM worthy!  That I AM good enough.  That I DO have value - because I value myself.  I know today that it is OK and normal to be fearful of change - good, bad or indifferent.  Change is scary but it doesn't mean I'm week or inferior.  Change is supposed to go from scary to exciting!!

Change, challenge, forward-movement ... those are all exciting things today.  I've come a long way, baby!  Thank God for that!  What about you?  Have you been successful at changing some of those patterns of thinking?  Don't give up!  Keep praying for the willingness and the courage.  Get yourself some tools - great books, daily readers, effective meditation tools, supportive network, etc.  Oh, and USE THEM!!

I do believe today that I have something to contribute to this world ~ although it is quite different from what I used to think I was supposed to contribute way back when.  To be honest, I am not even so sure I was too concerned about contributing to the world at all ... I was more concerned about "getting mine".    I must say that I definitely got mine, some of yours and then some!  I got more than I bargained for actually.  But that life experience is now my greatest asset and I don't regret the path of my life because it has landed me here!

And you know?  This ain't so bad.  I am happy, I am healthy, I am sober and even better ...  I am SANE!!  So, those of you out there that are trekking through your journey to betterment, keep on keepin' on!  Remember that is where the gift is ... in the journey!