Hmmm -- What Does Your "Feelings Meter" Read Today?

Feelings are just feelings; there is no morality in the feeling, only in our behavior. 

Things that make you go "Hmmm".  That is what  I happened when I read that line above.  Well, actually... it was the words morality and behavior that kicked my gut and got my brain humming.

How many of you stopped in your tracks when you read that line?  Hmmm.

Things really change for us when we start living sober.  "Say what?  You mean I can't justify my bad behavior any more?"  I must say that those were my thoughts once I started working the steps and taking inventory and I was none too happy about that either.  But it was pointed out to me that working a program of recovery included doing my inventory (not taking someone else's) and learning a new design for living.  Oh yea - that's right! My old way of living didn't work any more.  And learning to live differently meant learning to live by spiritual principles (What the .... ???)

Well, as I worked the steps and worked on developing a conscious contact with my Higher Power, the more I came to understand what that meant - for me at least.

I needed to get rid of the excuses in my life and I needed to stop allowing my feelings to run me and my life.  What I was given the task of doing was examining why my feelings were so powerful and why they held court over me and my actions.  The main reason was because before I got sober, I avoided my feelings by self-medicating or I acted out in irrational and selfish ways (I know --- hard to believe, right?  ME, selfish??)  . . . so I never learned how to address them in a healthy manner.  I never truly addressed any of those "feelings".

Through working my program AND with the objective guidance of my sponsor, I began to realize that they are only feelings - not action items!  They may not even necessarily be the truth --- and what they usually turned out to be was something fear-based (99.99% of the time actually!).

My program teaches me what to do when fear starts creeping into my mind . . . I must turn it over to my Higher Power.  When I think of that concept, I can usually locate a behavior that is more in alignment with my new moral or spiritual compass (yes, I actually have those today).  And when I am willing to do just that, I don't have that messy mess to clean up.  Hooray for that!!

So, tell me - do your feelings hold you captive today?  Do your feelings run your life?  Send me a comment.