Life Lessons

Ever wonder why certain situations seems to show up in your life over and over - and over AGAIN?
Well .... perhaps there is a lesson that you are supposed to learn from this that you haven't accepted, recognized, allowed yourself to see, or didn't appear clear to you.  It seems to hold true for me, even though it is crystal clear to others around me.  It can be very clear to my sponsor, my best friend, my network in recovery, maybe even my family.   MY eyes simply haven't opened or cleared from the fog of an "emotional bond".  MY mind hasn't opened enough to see in a "logical' way.  MY heart hasn't healed perhaps to the degree it needed to.

I read a meditation this morning about trusting "ourselves".  Do you trust yourself?  Are you berating yourself about repeating a pattern (that looks like making the same "mistake" again?).  Are you questioning your own judgment?  Are you second-guessing every choice or decision you make when it pertains to a certain someone, certain situation, certain behavior?

Well, there is hope!  We can learn to trust ourselves again - we really can.  And, guess what?  It kinda feels awkward.  At least for me it does.  But that's just because we have fallen back into an old unhealthy pattern and now that we are finally able, capable, willing to see the truth, it feel's a little weird - good and not so good.  I will describe it as feeling right, then having a little self-doubt, then immediately realizing that what I did, or did not do, was the right thing - for ME.  We are finally able to make the right choice, take the right action or refrain from taking any action - whatever the case may be - for ourself!  We seem to  suddenly be considering ourself - instead of the other person, place or thing!  Woo-hoo!!  Never give up on yourself.

Today, I will let go of my fears about trusting myself because I have made mistakes in the past.  I understand that these fears only serve to impair my judgment today.  I will give my past, even my mistakes, validity by accepting and being grateful for it all.  I will strive to see what I've gained from my mistakes.  I will try to look at all my good decisions too.  I will keep an eye for improvement, for overall progress, in my life.

Do You Hear When You Listen?

Are you HEARING me?  I mean, really hearing me?

How well do you listen?

• Do you interrupt while someone is talking to you?  Is this a reaction to a word or snippet of what they are attempting to say versus a response to what has been said?

• Do you listen to your own body?  Like that anxious or hurried feeling we sometimes feel from drinking too much coffee first thing in the morning?

• Are you watching someone talking to you and daydreaming about something else and commenting just to have something to say?

Learning to listen well takes practice.   At least it did for me.  It took me learning to quiet my own mind because the chatter going on in my own head was relentless.  One of the things that really, really helped me learn to become a better listener was meditation.  Meditation helped me quiet my mind .... go figure :-)

I find that when I am in a calm place (internally - which is what results for me when I meditate regularly) that I can listen with intention. I actually "hear" what is being said and I do not automatically react (which for me used to equal "giving advice") - an old behavior of mine.

Today, I can actually respond - or not.  (Was there even a question being asked?)  When I do respond, it is after I have thought about what was actually said.  Then, and only then, can I determine whether a response at all is even necessary.

Sometimes people just need someone to listen - nothing more.

Today, I do not view myself as being "the authority on everything" that I MUST respond (or react) to everything that is being said.

And who says you can't teach an old dawg new tricks???