Meditation (an excerpt)

 #Meditation, as described in the ancient Vedic texts, is an exercise of #consciousness that results in the expansion of consciousness beyond the day-to-day experience of duality. It is an experience of unity, which reduces stress and brings increased #creativity and efficiency to the functioning of the inner faculty. This is an exercise that occurs without the mind directing the process. In physical exercise, the mind does not tell the muscles to get stronger; rather, the muscles are strengthened automatically by the exercise process. Likewise, in this exercise of consciousness, that is, meditation, the results are achieved automatically, not by controlling the #mind or any other mental manipulation. The process of meditation goes beyond the mind to the deepest level of the #innerSelf. 

In #recovery, #meditation is a form of #selfcare.

Read the full article here:  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4895748/

 

 

 

 

Had to share this with all ..... please read.

Is the Lion at YOUR Door??

Happy New Year to All!

So here we are at beginning of a brand new year.  I was moved to blog this morning because so much has transpired in the last many months.  So many people have moved through my life lately and while it saddens me to see them go, I am filled with joy and gratitude because I know most of them are moving forward in their own lives and that is the true name of this game!  

I do what I do so that I can experience that and witness that and hopefully play a some small part in that transformation for many.  I will miss them all but I get to see them blossom and grow.  THAT is a true blessing and a gift.

My life is richer because I get to share in this experience and I also am in a place to learn from each of them.  That is exciting!  Sometimes the lessons are not so comfortable but I embrace them all because I know that growth is not always comfortable.  You see, I am also here to learn and experience new things and to grow in my personal life.

So to all of the women who have passed through this house, I have posted my wish for you!  Be well, be true, be accountable, be honest, be compassionate to yourself to others!  💞   💖  💟  💖  💞

Oh, The Games We Play!

This isn't really a game, is it?  Oddly enough, many of us seem to make it so.  And even more odd - some of us seem to enjoy it!

Hmmmm, you know I read a very timely reading this morning entitled: The Basics, from Melody Beattie's 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact (pg 41, Week 9).  That reading hit me square between the eyes.

Here is the excerpt:

  "Isn't everyone codependent?" a woman asked me.  "Maybe," I said.    It is easy to get embroiled in other people's dramas.  Isn't it even easier to see what other people need to do to take care of themselves, rather than tend to our own affairs? That's when we need to remember the basics of taking care of ourselves.''
    These basics include comfortable living arrangements, enough sleep, proper nutrition and hygiene, social contact, fun or pleasure, taking responsibility for our own emotions, earning enough money to pay our bills, taking responsibility for own own goals and dreams, and saying no -- sometimes to other and sometimes to our own impulses.
    My daughter introduced me to a computer game recently. It's a game where you create a city and get to rule the lives of the people in it. In this game, you get to decide where the people sleep, how much they sleep, when they eat, when they go to the bathroom, when they take a shower, whether they clean up after themselves, when they rest, whether they go to work so they can pay their bills and buy food, how much education they get, and how much they socialize.  Kind of like play God.
    "You can make people go crazy", my daughter explained.  "All you have to do is not let them get enough sleep."
    One of the meanings of "jaded" is being exhausted. Not getting enough sleep, not eating properly, not tending to our own emotions or our social needs can easily cause us to become jaded.
    We make ourselves feel crazy by not tending to the basics. It was tempting to torture the people in the game just to see how they reacted.  Sometimes it's tempting to torture ourselves.

   Value: Self-care, practicing the basics.

Some of us seem to get caught in that swirl of drama, emotions, highs and lows.  We get to assume the roles (game pieces or "icons" ... don't you like the sound of that?  I think some of us do - more than we care to admit.).  We get to be someone or something else, maybe it's someone or something we "think" we should be - other than what/who we are.  (Old belief systems!!)

Now as I sit here writing, some things are occurring to me.  That thing I read the other day (and God knows, something I have actually said to others I do/have done program work with) is crystalizing -- revealing itself to me  --- again!  That thing  about behaviors and the repeating of behaviors and how there is something in us that is "fed" by practicing the behavior and the result produced.   Now, who (that's got more than a couple of days strung together) in recovery wants to believe that?  Hmmm, must be ego blocking my vision.

Now, getting back to the game pieces - here is my interpretation (today) of those pieces, the progression of the game and how we get to play those roles:

The Friend/Partner  - this makes me feel good, a part of
The Helpful Friend/Partner  - this makes me feel really good
The Advisor  - this makes me feel important
The Assistant  - this makes me feel needed
The Caretaker  - this makes me feel needed, useful, helpful, important - until it makes me resentful
The Rescuer/Fixer  - this makes me feel all of the above + capable - until it makes me feel obligated
The Martyr  - this makes me feel obligated but necessary
The Victim  - this makes me feel justified (for feeling angry, resentful, hurt, abused, etc.)
The Repeat Offender  - ** most important or significant game piece ** (referring to the reading above, this can also be identified as the "tortured soul" .... ummm sounds dramatic doesn't it?)  Now one would think this last icon/game piece is that person we are playing the game with - but, alas, it is not!  It's probably not even a game piece you see, recognize, admit to even being present or a part of your game.  But I am here to tell you it is - it is there, hidden under all the chaos.  It is US - you and ME.

The Obsession  - no explanation or definition necessary

This game of codependency --  IS it really just PLAYING GOD?   Yeeee-ooouch! And YES, it is!  Has this become our new "fix", our new "drug of choice"?

Guess what?  That is one game that NEVER ends well, NEVER ends in victory for you or me and NEVER has the reward we are seeking.  We can never win when we play this game - NEVER!!  I will repeat:  Has this become our new "fix", our new "drug of choice"?  Can you see what I am talking about?

Step "away" from the game ....  RE-READ the excerpt .... just for today, try to practice self-love, self-care - get back the "the basics".  And then do it again - tomorrow!

Hows the Quality of your Recovery?

                                                                                      

• Do you have a sponsor?  Do you use that relationship, are you staying in touch?
• Are you working your steps?
• Are you practicing your prayer and meditation on a daily basis?  
• Are you reading your big book?
• Are you going to meetings?
• Are you using your tools when you need them?
• Are you doing your nightly review?
• Are you helping others?

These things are important pieces to make our "new way of living" puzzle complete.  Even if I don't do these things perfectly, I must do them to the best of my ability and I MUST remember - I can never pick up that first drink or drug.  It doesn't matter how long I have been sober, I still need to practice these things AND I must never pick up - no matter what!

So, tell me ... what does your recovery look like?

Step Work? Ugh!

"Geez, step work - ugh!"

Is that your response when your sponsor or someone suggests that maybe you need to do some step work on "that issue"?  Well ... you are not alone!  I guarantee you that.  But it is true what they say:  "when your pain becomes great enough - you become willing to do the work!"

How do I know that?  I am human - just like you - and sometimes I forget.  I cannot tell you how important it is to "use your tools" of recovery.  Things can seem to change virtually overnight by getting back on your step work.  There is a reason that we have to work the steps.  There is a tried and proven reason that we have to do them in order.  There is direct evidence that this stuff really works!

Whether you are new in recovery or not, take the plunge!  Start working your steps with a sponsor.  You will definitely start getting some direction and relief.  And, you will find that when you begin to become complacent (and there is a high probability that you will experience that on your journey) .... once you start doing the work again, all sorts of amazing things will begin to happen for you and in your life.  You will be convinced!

Now - pick up your tools and get started!  Let me now through your comments about your personal experiences with this ...  I can't wait to hear from you!

Faith

FAITH -

Definition of FAITH

1

a : allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty

b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions

2

a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust

3

: something that is believed especially with strong conviction; 

— on faith

: without question <took everything he said on faith>

What does yours look like?  Do you have "faith"?  Do you have that "belief" - without question - that things are going to be okay?  That things in your life are going to get better?  That you are okay and that things are the way they are "supposed" to be right now? And if you are not quite buying into that ... that things are going to work out for the best?  Are you struggling with this thing called "faith"?  

For a lot of people, this faith thing is slippery, elusive, confusing.  I always wanted to believe that I had faith and I still believe I have always held onto some form of faith or some level of faith.  I think where the problem comes in is in applying that faith to our lives, our situations, our circumstances.  It's not always an easy task.  I believe that initially I wanted it to be tangible ... something I had proof of in a tangible way.  I wanted to be able to feel it materially.  I wanted to be able to see it with my own eyes.  I wanted to be able to touch it.  Well, you might say that's silly or you might say - "I know exactly what you mean.  That's what I want.  That's what I need."  Yea, well ... that's not how this faith thing works!

I have learned that if I  am looking at the whole picture, and not just through my mind's eye at a specific piece of the whole picture (i.e., that you can stay sober, a job situation, the lack of money at any given moment in time, someone's words to you, or whatever) - if I am able to stop and ask my Higher Power to show me the truth - then I can actually begin to apply my "faith" to that specific situation and I can see the whole picture.  It's like putting a pinhole in a piece of paper and looking through that pinhole and then removing the paper from in front of my eyes and seeing "the whole picture".  Someone once said that that was the difference between my vision and God's vision.  My vision was very narrow, very limited.  My vision always had questions, doubt or expectations attached (or all three).  Then I would start to affix the "well, ok but...." to it.  As you can guess, it took me a while to really learn what "faith" is and how to apply that to my life.  You will notice that I mentioned belief in the first paragraph.  Isn't that what faith is??  Belief - state of mind - innate feeling?  I think it is.  It is something that you can feel!  It is like a warm sweater on a chilly day.  It is like a cozy blanket that calms you and puts you at ease.  It envelopes you so you feel (there's that word, again) safe.

My faith only functions (or works) when I take the wrapper off of my Higher Power ... liken it to walking around with your Higher Power wrapped up like an air freshener stuck in your shirt pocket -- and your life STINKS!!  You tell yourself that you have your faith - it's right here in your pocket! - but at the same time, you are running amok trying to control, figure out, plan, manipulate, arrange, coerce, fix ...  And you wonder why things are the way they are - why everything still stinks!

I also like to think of faith as a muscle.  If I don't exercise it, it goes limp.  And we all know how hard it i to get back in shape.  I have to use it - my faith muscle - to strengthen it.  The more I exercise it, the stronger and bigger it gets!  Now that's exciting!

Once you start doing that, you can sit back and trust in your Higher Power.  If you don't know how to do that - ask!  Ask your Higher Power to help you not doubt - better yet, just thank Him for the ability to not doubt.   Just so you know, there have been countless hours when I would simply have to repeat to myself or out loud, "trust God, trust God, trust God!  I believe, I do have faith" over and over and over.  That helped me get past those moments - sometimes for days on end - when I was sitting in fear and doubt.  And you know what?  Those times passed and I started to "feel" better, calmer, more at ease.  And it got easier for me to access and practice and exercise my faith - little by little. 

Listen folks, take the wrapper off - wrap that blanket around you - slip the sweater on - exercise that faith muscle!  Don't question, doubt, dictate to or put conditions on your Higher Power ... when we do that, we are just putting a wrapper on our faith.  You have to apply it, use it, exercise it!  ...  Let it envelope you, sink into it, feel it - believe it!  It's real!!  And it WORKS!

The Serenity Prayer

Good morning all!  It has been almost a week since I posted.  Remember that saying, "be prepared because LIFE happens"?  Well, I am here to say there is nothing truer than that!  Life does happen and it ain't always pretty, but we must trudge forth and stay grounded and connected to our Higher Power (who I choose to call God) and our programs.  I happened across this version of the Serenity Prayer in some of my recovery paperwork and, I must say, it is quite interested indeed.  While I am not advocating that anyone must be of any particular or specific religious persuasion or that you must read the Bible (that is strictly personal choice) - I just thought it was interesting and could prove very helpful to anyone who may not understand the purpose of the prayer.  It certainly gave me food for thought.  Enjoy!  

May each of you have a very blessed, peaceful and serene day.  Never give up hope for a better today, tomorrow and future.  No matter what life throws at you --- you can overcome with the help of a Higher Power of your own understanding, a network of encouraging fellow travelers, the guidance of a sponsor, a 12-step fellowship of your choosing and FAITH that there is a wonderful plan for your life .... even if you cannot see it right now!  Never quit, never loose your connection and never forget you have a spiritual toolkit at your feet .... you just have to pick it up!  Open it, use your tools and TRUST YOUR HIGHER POWER.

Today I am focusing on courage .... what about you??

Back in the day ... Should I live in a Sober House?

Wow!  What a big question for many people to ponder.  Personally, I have to admit I was totally opposed to it.  That fact in itself should have been a red flag for me.  (Oh, if I knew then what I know now.)  But, being who we are - we   believe we know what we need, what we are doing, how to do it, etc.  When I found myself faced with the fact that my options were limited (after a relapse, of course!),  I had to surrender to the fact that it may be the only option I had.  And, of course, I found it quite challenging.  It was a little daunting to have to share space after having my own apartment.  Not only that, but I wasn't sure I would get along with the other house members because I wanted everyone to like me (sound familiar?).  And, I also lacked humility at that point and found myself zeroing in on all the things that were "objectionable" to me.  I really made a hard go of it for myself.  But, I adore my sponsor and found myself calling her often.  She ALWAYS tells me the truth and back then, I ALWAYS hated it.  But I was serious about my sobriety and was determined to do whatever I needed to do to maintain my sanity.  Long story short, I discovered that I really did not have to have an opinion one way or the other about a multitude of things - live and let live - get it?

I have learned that if I neutralize myself long enough to "see" other people as my fellows, I have a much less intolerant attitude and a much more accepting heart.  I grew to love the company of my sisters and really felt useful when someone needed an ear or a shoulder or a ride or something that I was able to share with them.  I learned to close my mouth and open ears and that resulted in my heart and my mind opening up quite a bit.  I am very grateful that I was put in the position of having very few options .... it helps me keep it simple.  Things are always better when I do that!